


She's gone

by himynameissacred



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himynameissacred/pseuds/himynameissacred
Summary: Bellamy has a nightmare about Clarke and he blames himself for her "death". Takes place after the events 4×13.





	She's gone

Bellamy woke up screaming, screaming for Clarke. He always does. His forehead and hands are clammy with sweat, his breaths were unsteady and heavy, and his heart rang loudly in his ears.

He had a nightmare about her.

Like every other night he saw her skin get blisters , the ones the people from Mount Wether got, he saw her coughing out blood, her legs failing her making her fall miserably on the floor, and the worst part was that he saw her eyes, her lively beautiful eyes loose their live.

He jumped out of bed , rubbing his tired eyes. He left his room and tiptoed across the Ark. He tiptoed until he found the closet. In that closet they stored Moonshine Monty had made. He grabbed one , closed the closet door , and tiptoed once again through the hallways.

He finally reached the familiar window. Ah the window. In this window he could see the Earth ; he laughed a humorless laugh as he remembered younger him looking through this window, looking at Earth's beautiful blue , green, and white colors, he remembered how he whished he could have gone to Earth, and now he has seen it , all of its pain , and through the window he can see other colors , red and yellow and that made his stomach unsettled. Together he remembered her saying it to him, he thinks about her and how he never got to tell her he loved her, now it was too late.

He opened the bottle and started to drink.

A while later while he was half drunk , Raven and Monty found him.

Relieve passed through their faces when they found him.

"You scared us there , Bell" Raven said.

"Oh well too bad" Bellamy responded bitterly fidgeting with the bottle in his hands. Raven and Monty share a look he couldn't comprehend but he didn't care.

"Bellamy" Monty starts slowly, "is it about her? You know it's not your fault" Monty finished , his voice slow , like he was talking to a kid.

"Of course it's about her" He scoffed.

" And for the record it is my fault" He said with a look of pain in his eyes.

"Bellamy-" " No, Monty it is my fault , you want to know something? Even though the world was ending I didn't care because she was alive and breathing , because O didn't need me, and I had her now I have nothing" He cut off Monty , his voice thick with tears and emotion.

Monty and Raven knew at that instant that there was nothing they could do to help him.

"She's gone and it's all my fault" He said , the tears he was holding back stubbornly leaving his eyes, they dripped across his cheeks. He thinks about her and how he's never going to see her blue lively beautiful eyes, he's never going to hear her laugh, never see her smile, he's never going to fight with her , never see her mad or stubborn; he'll never see her live. And he blames himself for that , and he hates himself for that and that's something he'll carry all his life, the guilt of her death.


End file.
